These Phrases shared by My Father Which Saved Us during my time as a New Parent

"I believe I was simply trying to survive for a year."

One-time Made In Chelsea star Ryan Libbey expected to handle the challenges of fatherhood.

But the truth rapidly became "very different" to what he'd imagined.

Life-threatening health complications surrounding the birth saw his partner Louise hospitalised. All of a sudden he was forced into becoming her chief support in addition to looking after their newborn son Leo.

"I handled all the nights, each diaper… every stroll. The duty of both mum and dad," Ryan explained.

After nearly a year he reached burnout. It was a talk with his father, on a bench in the park, that led him to understand he couldn't do it alone.

The straightforward statement "You're not in a good place. You need some help. How can I assist you?" opened the door for Ryan to express himself truthfully, seek support and find a way back.

His story is not uncommon, but seldom highlighted. Although people is now more comfortable addressing the pressure on moms and about postpartum depression, far less attention is paid about the challenges new fathers face.

Asking for help is not weak to seek assistance

Ryan feels his struggles are symptomatic of a broader inability to communicate among men, who still internalise harmful perceptions of manhood.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the fortress that just gets smashed and stays upright time and again."

"It's not a display of weakness to request help. I was too slow to do that fast enough," he clarifies.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a expert specialising in mental health surrounding childbirth, notes men can be reluctant to admit they're having a hard time.

They can believe they are "not the right person to be asking for help" - especially ahead of a mother and child - but she highlights their mental well-being is equally important to the unit.

Ryan's chat with his dad offered him the space to ask for a respite - taking a short trip away, away from the family home, to get a fresh outlook.

He came to see he required a adjustment to consider his and his partner's emotional states as well as the practical tasks of looking after a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he realised he'd overlooked "what she longed for" -reassuring touch and listening to her.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has changed how Ryan views being a dad.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he matures.

Ryan believes these will enable his son to more fully comprehend the language of emotional life and interpret his parenting choices.

The idea of "reparenting" is something musician Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen was without stable male a father figure. Despite having an "incredible" bond with his dad, profound emotional pain caused his father struggled to cope and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says suppressing emotions led him to make "bad actions" when younger to change how he felt, finding solace in drink and drugs as an escape from the hurt.

"You find your way to things that are harmful," he explains. "They can briefly alter how you are feeling, but they will eventually cause more harm."

Strategies for Getting By as a New Dad

• Talk to someone - if you feel swamped, tell a family member, your spouse or a therapist what you're going through. It can help to lighten the load and make you feel more supported.
• Maintain your passions - continue with the pursuits that helped you to feel like yourself before becoming a parent. Examples include playing sport, meeting up with mates or a favourite hobby.
• Don't ignore the physical stuff - eating well, getting some exercise and where possible, getting some sleep, all contribute in how your emotional health is doing.
• Connect with other new dads - listening to their stories, the difficult parts, along with the good ones, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Remember that requesting help isn't failing - looking after your own well-being is the optimal method you can look after your loved ones.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen understandably had difficulty processing the death, having been out of touch with him for many years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's committed not to "repeat the pattern" with his own son and instead give the safety and nurturing he lacked.

When his son threatens to have a meltdown, for example, they try "shaking it out" together - expressing the frustrations safely.

The two men Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men since they faced their issues, transformed how they communicate, and learned to manage themselves for their sons.

"I'm better… dealing with things and handling things," explains Stephen.

"I expressed that in a note to Leo last week," Ryan shares. "I expressed, at times I believe my purpose is to guide and direct you what to do, but in reality, it's a dialogue. I am discovering an equal amount as you are through this experience."